Dateline 10-21-16 0318 Zulu . . . Stop press . . .
Latest wires in fallout from final candidate debate . . .
China stops rorting US trademarks, “We fear impoverished America will now start stealing ideas from us.”
10 million illegal US immigrants seen heading to Rio Grande into Mexico, “You’re too loco for us but muchas gracias for the Cuban rum and cigars.”
Israel announces Farsi will become its first language, “Shalom, salaam; tomato, tomato. So long as you have your health.”
Japan and North Korea make peace, “If America isn’t coming to the party why waste the kimchi?”
ISIS cancels IPO for music industry debut as The Extremes, “This way we get a Facebook page and a YouTube channel.”
Putin executes local vodka manufacturers failing to take alcoholic content above 100%, “Could be da, could be nyet, it’s still my Super Bowl ring.”
Meanwhile in a time machine, Julius Caesar crosses back over the Rubicon, “The Gaul of it all,” he says, shaking his head one final time at the republic.
© 2016 Adam Parker. You’ve just read a Parkerpinion.
Main picture: “Guard that Massachusetts Coast Well Lads”, author’s picture.