If you’re on Twitter, there’s one handle you’ll want to follow: @jk_rowling. It’s the personal handle of author, playwright and now screenwriter, Joanne Rowling, of Harry Potter fame: of course.
The noise surrounding the US Election has been so intense it’s impossible to know what to worry about. So here, for your paranoiac relief, I provide the top ten real fears of a Trump Presidency.
It’s been a confusing week for most of America: “most” being the just over half of those who bothered to turn up to vote. They missed out on the president they desired.
But if you watch TV, oh they’re all marching in the streets against democracy. They simply deplore the ability of women, men, black, white, yellow, brown, old, young, able, disabled, Jew, Christian, Moslem, Hindu, Agnostic, Carnivore, Veggie and Vegan to vote without the threat of murder and intimidation: for that’s a terrible thing. America they say, is broken.
Blueprints unfurled experts moved in, most looked coy, some shook their heads. “It must be a code,” one said. “Find the key,” said another. But someone looked up and saw a constellation peeking through the dusk and nodded.
In preparation for one of history’s closest World Series Championships and craziest US presidential seasons since Bonzo went to Bitburg in 1985, the White House today declared a shortage of popcorn “a clear and present danger to the American way of life, second only to a shortage of Mac and Cheese and/or possibly Mallomars”.