Four days ago, I wrote a satirical piece mocking a likely Hillary Clinton win in yesterday’s 2016 Presidential Election. It indirectly suggested that Donald Trump’s only hope lay in the absurdity of Clinton’s spin in place of policy as her campaign neared its crescendo.
Alas, I deleted it as writers often do. Was it relevant to anyone? Well, I reprise it here now for it indeed, shows one of the prime lessons I gleaned from President-Elect Trump’s jaw-dropping victory:
As the second decade of the 21st Century wanes, spin no longer sells.
It’s a political shakeup like none other. Some heavy tongue-biting follows.
Public Auditorium, Cleveland. November 6, 2016, late afternoon, clear 54 degrees.
I heard Hilary Clinton’s impassioned speech to millions of undecided voters in Cleveland, Ohio, today and she’s going to win.
It wasn’t LeBron James who was there; nor Beyoncé and Jay Z who often mentioned weren’t, it wasn’t the pantsuit celebration again and it wasn’t the promise to always “look people in the eye” except the placarded volunteers behind her.
It was her pledge to raise wages, increase jobs, return manufacturing to America, not increase taxes, make college affordable, make community college free, make college “for everyone else” debt free, put people to work, because they “must work”, lower interest rates, create a “cradle to college pipeline”, except that she’d prior said not everyone should go to college at all.
But penultimately, it was her indirect pledge to strip every building in America of criminally “imported steel”.
That included New York City’s Freedom Tower, whose very skeleton came from Luxembourg, Europe. Because Donald Trump brought his buildings’ steel from overseas too. From China. And that she said, made him evil.
But the real kicker, the real magic, was her pledge to manufacture in America and then buy in America. America will no longer have a $19 trillion national debt. There’ll be no imports. Likely nothing exported either.
Who can pass up this promised “Living Island” as the world of the 1970s kid’s TV show, “HR PufnStuff” was called? For it’s HR Clinton all the way and she has the Magic Flute. The other guy (nemesis) Witchiepoo, only has a wall. And while walls do attract celebrities, like Banksy, open-plan is still the rage.
But alas where I am, stuck in 2006 America, a place called Australia, hand-me-downs like cohesive political platforms come slowly. “No More Exports, No More Imports!”
If only all life’s choices were that easy. Green Day should write a song about it. Oh they did?
© 2016 Adam Parker. You’ve just read a Parkerpinion.
Main picture: Concession on TV, author’s photo.
(That song’s “American Idiot” by the way.)